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PROGRAM D-8362

Are you living through the aftermath of a shattered dream? I believe that’s one of the most painful experiences in life—to let go of a dream that you have held dear.

I journaled my way through the death of my dream years ago, and I can now recognize the process I went through. I think it’s a similar process for most of us when our dreams die. After the first hard step of giving up the dream and giving God permission to control my life, I suppose I expected some instant feelings of relief and happiness. But I was suddenly brought face to face with the stark reality that, at first, the pain worsens and the hopeless feelings increase.

On the first day of that long journey back from my broken dream, I wrote this in my journal:

“Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)

On this first day of aloneness, I will to let my heart take courage and to learn to wait. The weeks facing me seem lifeless, long and dreary. I have many fears, and I don’t trust myself at all. I don’t feel courageous or strong but just the opposite. But feelings must be ignored. For me, this is all very impossible. If I make any progress, there will be no doubt but that God did it for me. My objective is to be the woman God has purposed me to be. I don’t understand why God let this happen. Why??? I really don’t understand. But this too shall pass. God loves me. He has a plan for me, and it is good. I will trust him today.

What I discovered was that the pain could not be avoided. I had to walk through it. So often we are asking God to stop the pain, and that is an understandable reaction. But a more appropriate prayer is to ask God to teach us through the pain so that we will not suffer in vain. We truly must embrace the pain of this journey rather than running from it. There is no escaping it. But we decide whether the pain will result in something good in our lives or whether we will become embittered by it.

Jesus told us,  “. . .unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24).