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PROGRAM D-7651

You may remember that some time ago, Fran decided it would be a mistake to continue the close dating relationship she had with Barry until they both were fairly certain this was leading to marriage.  It just seemed to be inviting trouble.  So, after trying to explain this to Barry, she is no longer dating him.

There were many times she was tempted to phone Barry and tell him she had changed her mind.  Seeing him at church and at work has been difficult, and she really misses their time together.  But she is convinced she made the right decision, and time has helped to heal some of the hurts.

As she lunches with Louise today ­– her co-worker who is a Christian – Louise says, “By the way, you remember me telling you about David at church?”

“Sure,” Fran says, “you and he have become good friends, right?  Didn’t he go on that summer missions trip with you?”

“Right,” Louise replies, “and we have indeed become good friends.  In fact, we’re talking about starting a courting relationship.”  Courting is the replacement for dating, and it begins only when both people recognize there is marriage potential in their relationship.  And it comes with boundaries and accountability.

Fran’s heart does a flip-flop as Louise shares this news with her.  She is very happy for Louise, but the green monster starts to raise its ugly head and she finds herself thinking, ‘Oh, great, Louise is going to get married before I do and that’ll be the end of our friendship.  In fact, I’ll probably never be married again!’

She composes herself as she tries not to let her thoughts show on her face, and says to Louise, “Well, that is some news.  So, you think you might get married?”

“Well, we think it’s possible,” Louise replies with a smile.  “He’s a great guy, Fran, and our singles pastor and his wife have agreed to counsel us.  So, it’s looking good.”

“Why haven’t you told me this before?” Fran asks, again trying to be happy for Louise.

“Well, I know you’ve been in a lot of pain since you broke up with Barry, and. . .” Louise begins.

“Oh, that’s not a problem,” Fran replies, but inside she knows that is a lie.