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PROGRAM D-7344
Are you sitting in the seat of the offender or the seat of the offended? We’ve talked about what to do to get ourselves out of the seat of the offender, and now I want to talk about sitting in the seat of the offended.
Quite honestly, most of us spend way too much time in this offended seat, because we allow our feelings to be hurt so easily and we start throwing pity parties, and we get stuck in that seat. Maybe you’re thinking that someone else has the responsibility to get you out of that seat. You’re thinking that the person who hurt you, who offended you, should now come and do whatever is necessary to get you out of there.
But I want you to hear this clearly: There is nothing that anyone can do to get you out of the seat of the offended. If you are in the offended seat, it is because you are choosing to sit there. In fact, there are people in the seat of the offended who enjoy being there. They enjoy being a victim. After all, as long as you’re in the seat of the offended, you don’t have to take responsibility for anything you did in the seat of the offender. You can just keep shifting blame and having your pity parties—and spend your life in the offended seat.
I have to tell you that when you choose to keep sitting in the seat of the offended, it turns you into someone who is sour, unattractive, self-consumed and dishonoring to Christ. Now, I know that some of you have been hurt very deeply; the offense against you is deep and ingrained. Even so, God wants to deliver you from being the offended person, carrying that burden around with you all the time, wearing that chip on your shoulder. But you must be willing to give it up.
What does God say we should do when we’ve been offended?
Romans 12:14: Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
We are to bless them, not slander them. Regardless of what they did to you, it pales in comparison to what your sin—and mine—did to the Son of God. Do you remember Jesus’ words on the cross—Father, forgive them? He blessed those who persecuted him. He gave us the model for how we are to treat those who hurt us.
Have you blessed people in the offender seat of your life? I mean literally prayed a blessing on them—asked God to bless them. That’s one way to get you out of the offended seat.