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PROGRAM D-7343
How can you break a cycle of hurt in a relationship? We talked about how easily we can offend others even when we don’t intend to. How do we get ourselves out of the offender’s seat, or better still, keep ourselves from getting into it?
Romans 12:10 tells us to: “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” If we honestly tried to honor others above ourselves, that would keep us out of the seat of the offender, don’t you think? Honor is placing high value on someone or something. It means treating them as though they are very valuable.
Treating someone with honor means you say nice things to them; you give them first choice; you find out what they want and try to meet their needs. Just think of how we typically behave toward someone we honor or value or hold in high esteem. We listen to what they have to say; we treat them with respect; we are kind and considerate of them.
Another translation of Roman 12:10 says we are to outdo each other in showing honor. Notice that it doesn’t say treat others with honor if they deserve it—if they are honorable. No, we are to treat others with honor regardless—unconditional honor, if you please. If there is a relationship in your life that is strife-ridden, a person you truly have trouble getting along with, have you ever tried treating them with honor?
Maybe you’re thinking that you can’t do that if they don’t deserve it because that would be hypocritical—or because they don’t treat you with honor. But think about how God treats us with honor, with mercy and grace and love, even though we don’t deserve it. Shouldn’t that motivate us to want to give to others what God has extended to us—to bend the blessing back? And remember the principle of sowing and reaping; if you need honor, sow honor. If you need respect, sow respect. You reap what you sow.
The seat of the offender is an ugly place to be; treating someone with honor gets you out of that seat immediately.