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PROGRAM D-8318
I can remember times when I worked with or for someone who was toxic. I think of one particular man who was never pleasant, always complaining and demanding, had no encouraging words ever, and truly poisoned the atmosphere in the room when he entered. Do you have a coworker a little like that?
Well, that’s what I’m examining, and specifically, I’m looking at how Jesus would want you and me to respond and interact with those toxic people in our lives. I think the first challenge is to get your own attitude and reactions to toxic people under control. Learn to do some things that will keep you from, as we say, going crazy. Here is the first and most important thing you can do to protect yourself when you’re dealing with a truly toxic person:
Don’t let your thoughts and your mind dwell on them all the time.
When dealing with such a disruptive and irritating person—on a regular basis, no less—it’s very natural to let their behavior occupy your mind and your thoughts way too much. You dread going to work because you’ll have to deal with them. You fume all the way home because you had to deal with them. They can occupy way too much of your thought life. Instead, you need to firmly and swiftly boot the person out of your head. Refuse to let them take over your mind. Philippians 4 tells us to think about things that are lovely, pure, noble—and that pretty much excludes that toxic person. Stop giving them time in your mind.
How do you do that? You do it by replacing thoughts of them with good thoughts—thankfulness, reciting your blessings, and focusing on God’s goodness. That’s what it means to bring every thought into captivity and make it obedient to Christ, as we read in 2 Corinthians 10:5. This is a spiritual discipline that will make a huge difference in your life. If you have not already discovered this truth and learned how to take wrong thoughts captive, I recommend a book I’ve written on it entitled, Think About What You Think About.
As you head out to work each day, pray that the Holy Spirit will remind you to boot those wrong thoughts out of your mind and to help you refuse to allow that toxic person to occupy your thoughts. That is a very important first step.