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PROGRAM D-7335
How many times have you said something as a quick reaction and you just wanted to crawl under a table after you said it? I find that at times I react so quickly that I embarrass myself. How can we learn to respond appropriately rather than react out of control?
I have a suggestion. First, make a list of all the situations you can think of where you generally tend to react poorly. That list might include names of people who get to you easily. It might be certain situations that are stressful for you. Criticism would undoubtedly be on most of our lists, along with fatigue.
Then start praying about the specific areas that can get to you easily. Call them by name to the Lord, and ask him to give you the advance warning you need and the grace and strength you need to respond rather than react.
Then, plan ahead of time what would be an appropriate response rather than a reaction. Write the response down beside the reaction. Now you have an alternate strategy in your mind, prayed in on a regular basis, and when that happens to you again, you’re far more likely to respond rather than react.
For instance, an alternate strategy for that person who is negative is to say something positive to them each time. An alternate strategy for the person who is very critical is to thank them and tell them you’ll consider the suggestion.
Proverbs 18:13 reminds us of our need to respond rather than react: He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame. Many times we say the first thing that comes into our heads, and that is a reaction rather than a response. Proverbs 12:16 says, A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. Overlooking an insult is a response, not a reaction.
Can you imagine the impact we would have in our working worlds if as Christians we were responding more than reacting? Don’t you think that to be truly conformed to the image of Jesus Christ, we need to ask God to help us become responders; to give us the grace and strength to get past our reactions and respond in a biblical way? I know I want to be that kind of person and I’m sure you do, too.
