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Are You Satisfied with Your Job?

Oct 26, 2017

PROGRAM D-7954

Do you feel like you’re trapped in a job you don’t like, but you’re not sure if you should make a move? I’m giving ten checkpoints to help you determine if you’re in the right job or not.

Checkpoint #7: Have you managed to find a good balance between work and personal life?

If you feel you are in a good balanced situation between the demands of your job and those of your personal life, that may be a huge determining factor in evaluating your job satisfaction. This balance means a lot, and even if you’re not totally thrilled with your job, to give up that good balance even for a job you might like more, could lead you into a lot of stress and tension, at home and at work.

The grass does tend to look greener on the other side quite often, but when you get there, you may discover that the green grass over there is all wet! And while green is nice, wet isn’t, if you get what I mean! Sometimes we simply make trade offs because nothing is perfect in this world, including our jobs!

Checkpoint #8: Have you developed a positive relationship with your coworkers, or at least learned how to deal with each other’s different personalities?

In all the years I’ve been broadcasting this program—over 33 years now—the one issue that always comes up as more problematic than any other is getting along with the people with whom or for whom you work. You’re with those co-workers for eight or more hours each day! If there is a good working relationship, a respect you have for each other, and you’re able to deal with whatever little idiosyncrasies which might exist, you’re in a good place and you don’t want to give that up hastily.

However, a good job can be ruined by difficult relationships. Sometimes it’s not worth keeping a job because there seems to be no way to deal with the other people in a positive way. But then again, perhaps if you change your attitude toward the difficult people and treat them the way you would want to be treated, as Jesus taught us to do, it can cause positive changes on their part. So, don’t make a hasty decision based on difficult relationships on your job, and don’t underestimate the value of good working relationships.

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Saying “No” Without Guilt

Aug 25, 2017

PROGRAM D-7910

When it’s time to say “no,” how can you say it without offending anyone? What is the best way to say “no”?

None of us likes to disappoint people; we want to be cooperative and helpful. Saying “no” is not easy because we know it is not what the other person wants to hear. But when we know it is the right thing to do, we must be assertive and courageous enough to look them in the eye and, in a kind way, say “no.”

I think you need to give some explanation, but not too much. When you keep defending your “no” response, it shows a lack of confidence in your decision. Remember, it is not likely that your “no” will be happily received, so don’t have unrealistic expectations. Soften the blow as much as possible, empathize where you can, offer alternative suggestions if available, but make your “no” a true and understandable “no,” not a wishy-washy, wimpy response.

Be sure you’ve prayed about it, that you have your own emotions under control, that your reasons for saying “no” are pure, not selfish, and think in advance of what words you will use—words that make it as palatable as possible. Proverbs 16:21 says, “Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness,” so choose your words carefully.

In her booklet on saying no without guilt, Alice Fryling says, “Men and women who are humble enough not to take themselves too seriously are free to say no as well as to say yes.”  That’s a good word for us all: Don’t take yourself too seriously, and be humble enough to say “no” when you know it’s the right thing to do.

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Saying “No” Without Guilt

Aug 24, 2017

PROGRAM D-7909

Why is it hard for us to say “no”? It is important to consider this topic so that we can be set free from the bondage of saying “yes” to everything and everyone and, as a result, becoming burned out and ineffective.

In her booklet on saying no without guilt, Alice Fryling points out that “We get instant affirmation from saying yes. We get personal stimulation from the idea of meeting a challenge, using our gifts or tapping into our creativity, and we avoid the unpleasantness of having to say no.”

This hits the nail on the head for me. I learned some years ago that one reason I was trying to do so much was to hear the accolades and affirmation I received from others. Those comments feIt good; I liked them and I wanted more. I wanted the affirmation of people; it fed my ego and made me feel good about myself. But for years I was deceived and didn’t realize what was behind much of my activity—good activity, ministry activity.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). You have to decide whom you are trying to please. If pleasing people is your goal and if you need the affirmation of others in order to feel good about yourself, you will always be in bondage to those people, whomever they are, and you will never fully succeed. It’s impossible to please people all the time, no matter how hard you try. But the good news is this: it is possible to please God. What I’ve discovered is that when my priority is to please God, I typically please more people that way than when my focus is to please people!

Search your heart today: If you are plagued by this difficulty of saying “no,” ask God to reveal to you why it is so hard for you to say “no.” You may discover some unlovely motivations but, in so doing, you will uncover truth that can set you free!

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Saying “No” Without Guilt

Aug 23, 2017

PROGRAM D-7908

Many of us have a lot of trouble knowing how and when to set boundaries. We end up trying to be super-people and find ourselves exhausted, discouraged, depressed, and ready to quit!

Ephesians 2:10 says we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God ordained in advance for us to do. We are here to work; we are created to bring glory to God through completing the good works he has planned for us to do. Laziness or indifference is never acceptable for a disciple of Jesus Christ. By the same token, we are in human bodies which have limitations. When we start trying to do things that are not on God’s to-do list for us, that’s when we get in trouble.

In a very helpful booklet entitled “Too Busy? Saying No Without Guilt,” Alice Fryling makes some important observations: “Jesus does not intend for us to carry the heavy burden of ill-fitting good works. If we were to join him at the dinner table, where he did much of his teaching during his life on earth, he might remind us that we do not need to do everything, that burnout is not his idea of obedience and that by God’s grace even a little bit goes a long way.”

I like her term “ill-fitting good works.” I find that I am often self-deceived into taking on too much because what I’m taking on is good. Someone needs to do it; it is not a trivial pursuit. But is it an “ill-fitting good work,” meaning it doesn’t fit me? Ms. Fryling goes on to say, “In fact, as we take on Jesus’ yoke, we find that the work we are yoked to do has been custom-made for us.” When you are doing those good works, you may get tired but you won’t be overwhelmed. Jesus does not call you to do more than he will equip you to do under an easy yoke. When your “doing” gets to the stage of being a burden, no matter how good it may be, then you have to stop and ask, “Where and when should I say ‘no’?”

I would encourage you to think about areas in your life where you have not yet learned to say “no.” Perhaps it is on your job or with your family or friends. If you’ve allowed yourself to come under a heavy yoke, I urge you to begin the process of saying “no” where you need to.

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Saying “No” Without Guilt

Aug 22, 2017

PROGRAM D-7907

Do you feel as though you are always carrying a load of responsibility and work that keeps you exhausted and frustrated? If that describes you, it could be because you’ve never learned how to say “no.”

I often think about the difference between my lifestyle and that of my grandmother’s. She worked physically harder than I do, I’m sure, but her lifestyle was much simpler. Not easier, but simpler. She never drove a car, was never a soccer mom, and had no time for much outside of her home except church. While I wouldn’t want to go back to that time, there are things that I envy about her lifestyle.

Our society has placed a yoke upon us through remote controls, computers, microwave ovens, and text messaging—to mention a few. As Alice Fryling puts it in her booklet “Too Busy? Saying No Without Guilt”: “Laptops, iPads and cell phones promise an easier life but, in reality, they deliver increased stress and pressure. Physicians and psychologists tell us that our bodies are not designed for the constant input of our technological age, for being always ‘on.’  We need ‘down’ times when our adrenaline can subside, when we can muse and dream and be restored. But the God-given rhythms of day and night, work and rest, have been usurped by technological potential.”

Jesus said that his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Ask yourself this: “Whose yoke am I under: My own self-inflicted yoke of busyness, trying to please people, trying to multi-task and meet all my deadlines, or the yoke of Jesus which is easy?” That doesn’t mean that you’re never busy or tired; Jesus was often weary from the press of people, preaching, and healing. But he knew when to say no and when to get away for rest.

Learning to say “no” appropriately means learning when you must shut down for some time of restoration—a few hours, a day, or maybe even a week. And yet, if you’re like me, you tend to feel guilty for taking down time when you still have things to do! This is false guilt. We need to recognize it and refuse to be in bondage to it.

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Saying “No” Without Guilt

Aug 21, 2017

PROGRAM D-7906

Do you have difficulty saying no? Many of us women feel obligated to be everything everyone thinks we should be, and to do everything everyone thinks we should do! For years I thought I was supposed to do whatever anyone asked me to do—period!

I can assure you that if you think like that, you’ll end up in burnout territory! You’ll be trying desperately to jump through everyone’s hoops and discovering, as you pick yourself up off the floor, that you really are not superwoman and you have to learn to say no. But how—and when?

I recently came across a small booklet by Alice Fryling entitled “Too Busy? Saying No Without Guilt.” The title caught my attention and the content really spoke to me. I want to share with you some of her insights, as well as my own, if you struggle with how and when to say no.

The first lesson we must learn is that it is okay to say “no.” Jesus said, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’: anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37). There are times to say “yes” and times to say “no,” and our challenge is to learn the difference. In fact, Jesus told people “no” on several occasions—disappointing some, perhaps even angering some, and leaving his disciples wondering why. For example, in Luke 12 when a man asked him to settle an argument he was having with his brother, Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” (Luke 12:14) Jesus said “no,” not because he couldn’t do it, but because it wasn’t what he was called by God to do.

We begin with knowing what is legitimately our responsibility and what is not. For example, on your job there are times when you necessarily do things that are not within that job description, but if you are continually doing the work of others or getting side-tracked into projects not your own, you may discover that you have difficulty doing what is rightfully expected of you. If this is the case, you need to determine the best way to say “no.” Your approach and choice of words would be critical, but until you learn to say “no,” you’ll never bring that job under control.

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