Learning When to Ignore

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Learning when to ignore—it almost sounds like anything but a Christian message, don’t you think? Yet, truthfully, there are times when we need discernment about what others are telling us and we truly need to ignore them.  However, I want to reemphasize the importance of listening to others. It’s a wonderful way to show people compassion and a caring attitude—just by listening. But the opposite side of that truth is that there are times we should absolutely ignore what other people are saying to us.

I saw this as I was reading about a time when Jesus chose to ignore people. That story is found in Mark 5. Jesus was approached by a synagogue ruler, Jairus, who pleaded earnestly with him to come and heal his little daughter who was dying. Here was one religious leader who was ready to believe in Jesus. Interesting how people can become believers really fast when they’re in trouble, isn’t it?

Well, Jesus agreed to go see his daughter, and on the way to his house some of Jairus’s friends met them and reported that his daughter was dead, so there was no need to bother Jesus anymore. If ever there were words of death and gloom, this message was certainly that. “No need to try anymore,” they told Jairus. “Forget it. Give up. Jesus might have been able to heal her, but she’s dead now, and there’s nothing he can do. So, don’t even bother bringing Jesus with you. Just come on back home and mourn with the rest of us and bury your daughter.” This was the message Jairus’s friends gave him.

Jesus heard what they told Jairus. Notice in Mark 5:36 how he responded: “Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe.‘” In response to those words of death and doom, Jesus told Jairus to believe and not be afraid, and he completely ignored their bad report.

Jesus ignored them because he knew what he intended to do, He knew the power of God in him, and their message of hopelessness was one to be ignored. Now, imagine how Jairus must have felt at this point. First, his friend—people he no doubt has known and trusted—report that his dear little daughter is already dead. I’m sure he knew they wouldn’t tell him that if there was any doubt in their minds. Yet, here’s Jesus telling him to ignore their report, refuse to be afraid, and continue to believe that Jesus will heal his daughter.

Who does Jairus believe? Of course, he wants to believe that his daughter is not dead, but if he believes Jesus, he could really make a fool out of himself if she is dead. What does he do? Well, evidently Jairus chooses at this point to believe Jesus, because they continue on their way to his house. And both Jesus and Jairus ignore the words of death and doom that his friends have delivered.

We need to understand that Jairus’s friends weren’t trying to do him any harm. Indeed, they were simply trying to make him face what they thought was reality. Obviously they didn’t have faith in Jesus’ power; they only believed what they could see, so their words to Jairus were faith-destroying words. I wonder what they said to Jairus during that walk to his house. Do you think they kept on trying to convince him that his daughter was dead and he was just wasting his time? I imagine they did, and in fact they probably thought he’d really gone off the deep end now. But Jairus ignored them—his good friends—and chose to believe Jesus.

Then we see the scene when they arrive at the house. Everyone had declared the girl dead, and they’d already begun their mourning, crying and wailing loudly. You really have to put yourself in Jairus’s shoes now, as he approaches with Jesus. Everyone is telling him, by words and actions, that his daughter is dead. Jesus is saying to ignore them, not be afraid and believe, and he’s choosing to believe Jesus.

But he looks very ridiculous to his friends. In fact, when Jesus announced to these unbelieving people that the child was not dead, everyone laughed at him. And I’m sure they were laughing at Jairus, too. Why would Jairus make a fool of himself like this? Didn’t he believe what they were telling him? The girl was dead—that was it, done, finished. How could he prolong this misery by bringing this fanatic in to build up false hopes? But Jesus and Jairus ignored that, too.

Well, we know the end of the story. Jesus went in and brought the girl to her feet, alive and well. And obviously, everyone was astonished that Jesus delivered on his promise. I’m sure Jairus was holding his breath, but you have to give him credit. He chose to believe Jesus in the face of every evidence that there was no hope. And in doing that, he had to ignore what people said to him. He had to ignore his good friends, people he knew and trusted I’m sure. In order to believe Jesus, Jairus had to ignore others.

This story really speaks to me, because I know that I must learn, like Jairus, to ignore other people when their words to me are at variance with God’s word to me. If we’re ever going to be people of faith, we must choose to ignore anyone who tries to destroy our faith with their words of hopelessness.

Believe me, there are always people around to give us negative, discouraging words. They may be well-intentioned, they may be your best friends. But if their words of advice and information are faith-destroying words, then you should ignore them.

What are faith-destroying words? Anything that causes you to lose faith in the Lord, to doubt that he will answer your prayers, to wonder if his promises are really true, to question the validity of God’s Word. They are usually in a negative form, and their end result is to destroy your faith in the Lord and his word to you.

Faith-destroying words are words of death. We read in Proverbs 18:21 that the tongue has the power of life and death, and believe me quite often the words you are hearing from other people are words of death. And those words will destroy your faith in God. Think of what would have happened to Jairus had he chosen to believe the words of death his friends were telling him. They would have destroyed his faith in Jesus’ power to heal his daughter and bring her back to life, and as a result he would have buried his daughter that day and never known that miracle.

Jairus had to choose to believe Jesus in spite of what his friends said to him, even when they laughed at him. But he knew that Jesus was the only hope for his daughter, so he ignored their words of disbelief and doubt. In spite of the knots in his stomach as they walked to his house, regardless of the fact that he felt quite foolish, against his own emotions and tendencies, he chose to believe the words of Jesus. And those words were life-giving.

If others are giving you faith-destroying words, you too can choose to ignore them, refuse to be afraid, and continue to place your trust in the word of the Lord. Jesus gives us words of life and hope. We must cling to them and not be afraid. He is faithful to do what he has promised. You can trust him.

Like Jairus, you may feel very foolish when you choose to believe Jesus and ignore others. There may well be a period of time—as there was for Jairus—when you look pretty stupid to other people for choosing to believe what Jesus has said to you. They may strongly counsel you to accept their words of death; they may make fun of you when you don’t. It won’t always be easy to ignore faith-destroying words.

We need to be ready for that, and we need to make up our mind beforehand that regardless of the cost, we will ignore words that destroy our faith.

Hebrews 3:12-13 says, “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

Here we see again that an unbelieving heart is a sinful heart. When we choose to believe words of death, faith-destroying words, we then have an unbelieving heart, and that is sin in God’s sight. I think we need to see how serious it is for us not to trust our God. Lack of faith is not something to take lightly. It is a sin. And we need to be very careful that we don’t deliver faith-destroying words to other people.

Daily we should be encouraging one another. I wonder what effect we could have on the world if every Christian took this seriously—to encourage each other daily. Wouldn’t that be wonderful—to hear words of encouragement around you all the time. You know, it’s not impossible. Maybe you could start a trend in your home, on your job, in your church to encourage each other daily rather than speak faith-destroying words.

We should be aware of those times when we need to ignore what others are saying to us. When you hear negative words, depressing words, unkind or discouraging words, stop and think, “Are these words faith-destroying?” If they are, make a mental decision very quickly to ignore them. Tune them out, turn them off. Don’t let others destroy your faith and make you miss the miracles that Jesus wants to perform in your life. The secret is to refuse to be afraid, and keep on believing, just as Jairus did centuries ago.