Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 3:00 — 4.1MB)
PROGRAM D-7673
Do you find it difficult to set boundaries? Our friend, Fran, is facing some stressful situations with people in her life who frequently cause her to go way beyond reasonable boundaries.
It’s Wednesday of this week in Fran’s life, and she has just barely made a deadline for her most important client, but it was at the expense of late hours last night because she allowed a coworker to talk her into helping her for “ten minutes,” which turned into three hours. Fran is relieved that she got it done, but quite honestly, she is exhausted and sleepy.
With two hours to go before the end of the day, Fran is counting the minutes until she can leave, tying up a few loose ends, and dreaming of going to bed early when the kids do tonight. But in walks her manager, who is not aware of what Fran has done, and says,
“Fran, if you’re not busy tonight, I’d love for you to join me for dinner with the Vice President of Marketing, who is in town this week, you know. I’ve been telling him about your success and how much you’ve contributed to the fact that we’re twenty percent ahead of our quota, and he asked if you would join us. I know you have your kids, but if you could get a sitter, I’d be glad to cover that expense for you.”
“Don’t do it, Fran,” the inner voice of God’s Spirit seems to say to her, but how can she say no? I mean, how often do you get this kind of opportunity to make a good impression?
Well, she thinks, I can do it. Mom will keep the kids for me, I think, and it’s just one night. So she hears herself saying,
“That’s very nice of him. I, uh, I think I can make that happen. Let me make a call and I’ll get back to you.”
Not only does Fran have difficult saying no to the irritating and unnecessary requests that are made of her, she also has trouble turning down an offer that she sees as positive. That’s understandable—most of us have that same problem. But if she keeps living outside the margins of her life, overriding reasonable boundaries, the day will come when she’ll have to deal with some serious not-so-nice consequences.
Can you identify with Fran?