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PROGRAM D-7860

How do you deal with someone who treats you obnoxiously? That is basically what our friend Fran is struggling with in this episode of Fran and Jesus on the Job. She has a very difficult client, Marge, who continually takes her frustrations out on Fran. Fran has been learning to re-frame Marge, as Jesus is teaching her to do. Instead of seeing her as intimidating and obnoxious, she is realizing that Marge is a very frightened woman.

The next day starts nicely for Fran, thinking that she has put the latest fire out with Marge and now it’s back to her normal routine. But about 11:00, Marge calls again and, with the same obnoxious tone of voice, says, “Did you really think that report was a finished product, Fran? When I presented it this morning, they asked me a ton of questions I couldn’t answer. It was a half-way job!” With further unkind and unrepeatable words, Marge tears Fran’s work apart.

Fran’s heart sinks like a rock. She knows she gave Marge exactly what she asked for, but now Marge is blaming her for her own omissions and mistakes. How can she defend herself to Marge?

She starts to say something, but Jesus reminds her, Keep your words as few as possible right now. Often Jesus has taught her that when she’s upset, the best thing to do is keep her mouth shut!

So, she mostly listens to Marge as she gives her an addendum to the assignment and demands it be ready this afternoon. After she hangs up, Fran says to Jesus, “Lord, I thought we had this problem solved yesterday. I thought Marge was changing the way she treats me. She’s back to obnoxious again.”

That quiet inner voice of God’s Spirit speaks to her again: Put her back in the frightened frame, Fran. She is more frightened now than ever. And like a cat caught in the corner, she’s striking out at anyone she can. Obviously she knows you can’t strike back because she’s a customer.

After some quiet thought, Fran realizes that this problem is not going to be solved easily: Marge may never change her ways. But Fran can be victorious in this situation as long as she keeps re-framing Marge and seeing her the way God does. That won’t be easy, but it will be a lot easier than getting upset and angry every time she has to deal with Marge. “Thank goodness I’ve got you, Lord,” Fran says. “I’d never be able to handle Marge without you.”

Are you trying to deal with difficult people in your own way and energy? It’s a losing battle. Let Jesus give you the power to re-frame them and see them the way he does.