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D-7650
What do you do when you’ve really tried to address a crucial situation, you’ve done everything you can to be fair and understanding, and in spite of all your efforts, the other person is simply not willing to listen to reason, refuses to change, and/or tries to shift the blame back on you?
I’ve been working through crucial conversations, with the hope and goal that we can reach a helpful and just conclusion and the matter—whatever it is—can be resolved. Wouldn’t it be nice if it always worked out that way?
A friend recently told me about some crucial conversations she has had with her siblings concerning the care of their aging parents, but in spite of her many requests for help, they have simply ignored her and she is left as the principle and really only care-giver at great sacrifice on her part. I questioned her approach, but it surely seems that she has been as clear and as assertive as anyone could be, but she cannot force them to do what they are not willing to do. And so her choices are to leave her parents without the care they need or keep doing what she is doing.
In such cases, the biggest issue you face is bitterness—allowing others to cause you to be bitter. That always backfires on us, doesn’t it, so don’t let bitterness get a foothold. Hebrews tells us:
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Heb. 12:15)
When you allow those bitter roots to grow, you heap more trouble on yourself because bitterness will eat you alive, emotionally and spiritually—and also physically. It will affect your well-being.
Then, commit these intransigent situations to God in prayer and wait for him to answer. I know—that’s very hard to do because he never answers on our timetable, but he is a trustworthy God and if you are part of his family through faith in Jesus Christ, he has promised to care for you.
Read Psalm 91 and take great comfort in the truth that “he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” (Psalm 91:12)
Just take that promise at face value and be aware that God has sent angels to guard you and keep you from disaster. Even though you can’t see them, they are there and you then can rest in the shadow of the Almighty, because God is your refuge and fortress.